Tips for Couples After Conflict: Rekindling Connection with the 3 C’s
Category: Couples
Disagreement doesn’t have to disrupt your connection as a couple. When things get tough, consider the three C’s to come back together: collaborate, compromise, and communicate.
Topic Of Discussion
No matter how healthy a relationship is, conflict is inevitable. Every single relationship unites two separate individuals, so by default – sometimes – you’re bound to encounter times when each partner has a separate idea of how things should be done.
If tension arises from the conflict, it’s okay, Disagreement doesn’t have to disrupt your connection as a couple permanently. When things get tough, consider these “three C’s” to come back together: collaborate, compromise, and communicate. Let’s break each one down.
Collaborate:
Remember: This person is your partner. Draw on what brought you together in the first place to foster ideas and solutions that celebrate the things you have in common. Work together to remember just why you work together so well in the first place.
Compromise:
That said, you are different people…and that’s a good thing! If you don’t disagree at all, codependency might be a concern. So, when you have conflicting ideas, make it a game of give and take. If one of you calls the shot this time, let your partner call it next time. In the end, with healthy compromises, everyone gets their way sometimes.
Communicate:
You’ve heard it before, and we’ll say it again: Communication is key. Often, it’s the key to collaboration and compromise happening in the first place. So, if in doubt when in conflict, default to communicating. Need help? Try this four-step non-violent communication model:
-
Observations: Clearly state what is happening without judgment or evaluation
-
Feelings: Express your emotions honestly (look deeper than anger if you can)
-
Needs: Identify the underlying needs that are driving your feelings
-
Requests: Make clear, specific, and actionable requests that meet both of your needs
Wrapping it up:
Being a couple, in many ways, is one of the coolest (and most challenging) creative projects many of us will ever engage with. It’s okay to not only have problems along the way but also to seek help if and when you need it. Couples therapy at Tri-Star Counseling provides tools for better communication, deeper understanding, and greater satisfaction. If you and your partner need help with conflict, trust, family, intimacy, or any other issues that may arise, one of our experienced counselors is ready to help.
