Valentine’s Season, Healthy Relationships, and Other Tips from Couples Therapy

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Feel more love and less pressure this Valentine’s season.

Topic Of Discussion

Welcome to February! A month filled with love! Or at least…a lot of pressure to feel the love. 

If you and your Valentine are feeling more pressure than love this season, it’s okay. You aren’t alone. Every relationship has its challenges, and sometimes relationships go through periods of more challenges than others. Not only is it okay to seek out relationship help…it makes sense! 

When you’re sick, you see a doctor. When your car breaks down, you see a mechanic. If your relationship is broken…why not seek out some guidance? Or at the very least, try new tactics? 

Looking for ways to get started? Read on.

Connect with yourself to connect with your partner

“It’s not you, it’s me…” doesn’t have to be the opening to a break-up. It might just be a simple truth! Before you dig too deep into what might be going on in your relationship, it might not be a bad idea to look inward and maybe even seek some individual help for yourself first. The better you understand yourself, the better equipped you are to help your partner understand you and your needs. Whether with mindfulness exercises, individual counseling, or a support group, find ways to better understand what roles you might play in your relationship (positive and negative!)

Conflict can be constructive

Is your partner driving you nuts? When explaining what’s bugging you, stick to “I” statements. Why does this work? By trading accusations for vulnerabilities, you not only open the door for your partner to support you, but you also find out what you can do to support them. In other words, your “I” statements give them tools to rebuild, just as their “I” statements give you tools. Moving past conflict all comes down to explaining and listening in a welcoming way.

Communication (style) is key

But here’s the thing: Explaining and listening can’t happen without someone starting the conversation. There’s no getting around it: difficult conversations are, well…difficult. But they can also be a positive part of a healthy relationship when they’re approached in a healthy way. If you’ve got a tough topic to talk through, try to do just that. Even though your modern urge might be to send a text, the best communication between partners is often face-to-face. So unless the text is to pick a day and time to actually talk, think twice. Communication style is so worthwhile!

Have a laugh (together)

Humor can be touchy, but also super helpful when it comes to lightening the mood during tense times. So steer clear of sarcasm…but don’t be afraid to make a joke that you and your partner can both laugh about. Chances are good that your love story has its roots in some humor. Use it to your advantage and to remind each other of what brought you together in the first place.

Wrapping it up

Couples therapy from Tri-Star Counseling seeks to help you rebuild love, trust, intimacy, and other aspects of a strong relationship. Our therapists know how to guide you both in exercises and processes to grow, heal, and reconnect. If you’re seeking support, contact us to get started.

 

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