How to Set Boundaries (And Be Kind to Yourself and Others in the Process!)
Category: Misc.
Boundaries live up to the hype when it comes to maintaining healthy relationships.
Topic Of Discussion
The concept of “boundary setting” has become a bit of a therapy buzzword in recent years, especially on social media…and not without good reason.
Boundaries live up to the hype when it comes to maintaining healthy relationships. Whether set with great intention or subconsciously, over time, they ensure not only that you are taking responsibility for your own emotions, but also that you are not pressuring anyone else to take responsibility for them. The same goes for others who set boundaries with you.
Add a dash of compassion, and you might just find yourself self-reliant with secure connections to others. It’s a great recipe, especially if you keep some key concepts in mind:
Your well-being matters
First and foremost, boundary setting is an important component of caring for your own mental health. Boundaries help define rules and limits you need to set with others to protect your sense of security and/or overall well-being. Put simply, healthy boundaries help you be your best you.
Clarity = compassion
Boundaries – especially clearly stated ones – help others understand what you’re comfortable with and you to understand what they’re comfortable with. It’s that simple. In a boundary-setting conversation, keep in mind that this isn’t about anything you or anybody else has done wrong. It’s about expressing your needs as clearly as necessary and showing compassion for yourself and others in the process. Through this lens, boundary setting can be calming, even loving. If your boundary-setting is met with a lot of resistance, that’s probably confirmation of your need to set them. Be as kind as you can in the course of the conversation, and keep trusting yourself.
Mutual respect
Setting and respecting boundaries in the ways discussed here: with clarity, compassion, and consideration of your own well-being, inherently takes the well-being of others into account too. Yes…you read that right. When you set healthy boundaries for yourself, you actually help others in the process. How? Think of the classic analogy: in an airplane emergency, flight attendants advise putting on your oxygen mask before helping anyone else with theirs. In the same way, setting necessary boundaries for yourself positions you to better respect any boundaries being set by others. The result? Thriving relationships built on mutual respect.
Wrapping it up
If you’re having trouble setting or respecting boundaries, you’re not alone, and our therapists at Tri-Star Counseling are here to listen and help you! Reach out for guidance and support.
